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i’ve realised that i have, as of today, 30 days left in singapore.
the first thought that comes to mind is, of course, better make the most of what’s left. but how? i’ve been going out with friends at every opportunity, which has been at the very least socially satisfying. it’s interesting how after all these schooling years, of drifting in and out of various circles, a few quick smses and we’re back to before. nearly. far from any of the oft-quoted comforts of home, my friends will be the one thing that i will miss most when i leave. but as always i find the strain on my already meagre resources to be troubling.
then there is also is there any significance to my protracted absence from home? there’s been a strong impulse to tie up loose ends, so to speak, and address issues of personal importance before i’m prepared to go. i’m undecided on a course of action. i thought i’d made up my mind to do certain things, but consequences will have to be dealt with. also, i can’t help but what i’m feeling is a natural consequence of having to leave.
this is without also considering i wonder what’s ahead. so many people have made offhand comments on how it’d be awesome if i’d come back really fat/really thin/a drug-addled hipster/a party animal and other (actually) unspeakable things. i do have to wonder if NYU will change me that much, and in what direction? there are too many variables to consider.
i’m excited, for sure. and with that i conclude with don’t overthink it.
